So…We’ve Been Trump’d In the Ass

‘Twas the day after the election and I rolled over in my bed to find the reality of Donald Trump being the U.S.’ new president elect laying right next to me. Do You know how fucking MAD I was??  Not only MAD..but emotional, confused. I felt like I had just been trump’d into a drunken one night stand that left my asshole raw! No games lol My friend and I, sullen,  discussed what the future of the U.S. may look like with him in the White House for the next four years. In discussing this though, I felt a shift. I no longer felt MAD but felt like I needed to immediately prepare not only myself but others around me for any possible political and social MADness that may follow Trump’s metaphorical rape of our country.  This thought inspired me to make a list: 

5 Things We Can Do to Survive Political Ass Rape

  1. Stay Focused 


    The first thing I definitely think we need to do is Stay Focused. For those of us who are not so fond of Trump whether it be because of his disrespectful rants or his  annoying ass toupee we cannot let our anger distract us. I think that NOW is the time to work even harder on pursuing Our goals and making it Our main priorities to become Our very best selves (while we can). Only WE can control Our destinies and the more focused we are the better chance we having of being an extremely tough force to be reckoned with.

  2. Plug In educate

    We now live in a generation where there are SO many social forces that distract Us from what is most important. Whether or not this is the agenda of these distractions is a whole ‘nother topic I’ll discuss later, but I have realized in talking with most people my age that We don’t know what the hell is going on! We hop on political bandwagons when it is most convenient for Us, when it is most relevant and get upset by the results when there were tons of ways We could have been involved before…that’s MAD crazy.I just think that We should be making more moves towards unplugging Ourselves from things that do not fucking matter and plug ourselves into the things that do. How many of You can say You know the name of the government officials of Your state? How about the governor? Mayor? I’ll wait….MESSAGE!

  3. Stay Ready 


    I think this item on the list explains itself. NOW is definitely time to take stock. Start discussing survival plans with Your families. Start working out-ZombieLand warned Us all: “Fatties go first”, I don’t think its about being fat, but being fit and we gotta be ready to move if need be! Start buying bottled waters, canned foods, knives, ropes. Focus on getting Your gun licenses and practicing any other skills that can heighten Your chances of survival before the government starts barring citizens from doing these things. “Stay ready, so You don’t have to get ready”.

  4. Stay Connected connected

    A large part of Trump’s campaign involved the disrespect of Latino immigrants and their families, which is MAD ridiculous considering the fact that Latinos (illegal or not) have contributed so much to the U.S., including their beautiful culture. I think now is the time for all Non-Trump advocates (AHEM, PEOPLE OF COLOR) to bind together and stand up for what’s right! Like really…Trump’s argument for wanting to kick illegals out is because “they’re criminals”….SHIT, 89.9% OF THE COUNTRY NEEDS TO LEAVE THEN! Or nah?

    Let’s figure out how in Our communities how we can help support Latinos and their families. I have so many Latino friends, who work just as hard if not harder as any other American, to maintain positive and progressive lifestyles. Although this is definitely not the first time we have witnessed racial inequality in America, they DO NOT deserve the treatment they are getting, and I think that with Us in their corner political disruption of their lives can be much harder. Let’s get together Power Ranger style and take off on who we MAD at!

  5. Stay Heard


Staying heard at this time is MAD important. I’m not at all a protestor, but I salute people who are out there everyday fighting for what they believe in…peacefully! If you’re angry be angry! (However, anger and violence are two completely things by the way, violence being the action I will never condone).  Post your thoughts on social media, keep sending letters about things that You don’t agree with to the White House. The more we do it in masses the harder we’re going to be to ignore. Show up at community and state hearings. I’m sure by now You can catch my drift. BE HEARD. STAY HEARD. YA HEAR ME?

MADClosure:  Ultimately, I think the future of US can go 3 ways:

1) We’re all screwed
2) Trump was blowing smoke the whole damn time and switch it up on the Republican Party. Which means his PR and Marketing team is genius. But unfortunately mean that a revolt WILL start OR
3) Trump has NO idea what he is doing and they are going to play badminton with him in office.Whether any of these are Our realities is only a hypothesis’ but if we Stay Focused and Stay Connected we can’t be touched!